Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
