Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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