i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
