I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
