Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
