He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
