Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize