from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
