So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
