Don't EVER smell your tampon
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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