someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
