I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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