I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
