Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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