DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
