Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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