ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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