:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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