But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize