I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
