she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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