Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
