ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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