Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize