are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize