The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize