isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
