Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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