Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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