shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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