Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Randomize
