Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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