dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
