Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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