I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
