My hair reeks of homosexuality.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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