I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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