you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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