We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
