I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
