I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
