she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
3pm strippers are depressing
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
