someone get that fucking seahorse.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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