Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
