so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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