I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
