They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
