he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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