is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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