he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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