im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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