i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I love having hate sex.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
