i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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