Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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