I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
