I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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