I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
