U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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