just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Randomize
