just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i think i have two assholes
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
