if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
