CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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