i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
