I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
