i just wanna soil my oats bro
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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