ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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