I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
