all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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