he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
they call him Oral-B. enough said
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
