P.S. I can't hear my feet
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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