Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
