Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
