we're blogging at a bar
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
