I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
